


My Heart Is Broken

by NirialNox



Series: Eternal Sterek [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Erica Reyes, Alive Vernon Boyd, Alpha Derek, Alpha Scott, Braeden Mentioned, Erica Reyes Mentioned, Isaac Lahey Mentioned - Freeform, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Mentions of Sex, Past Braeden/Derek Hale, Vernon Boyd Mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 07:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12338370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NirialNox/pseuds/NirialNox
Summary: Derek wants to fix what he did to Stiles, but Stiles just wants to forget him. With a memory spell ready, Stiles prepares to let his soul and heart heal, but at what cost?





	My Heart Is Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Bold parts are current tense, the rest is past tense. Title and lyrics from Evanescence's "My Heart Is Broken" off their Evanescence album.

_I will wander 'til the end of time, torn away from you._

The day Stiles found Derek having sex with Braeden was one of the worst days of his life. Seeing the man he loved having sex with someone that wasn't him shattered him. All he really remembers from that day is seeing them and then aimlessly wandering around town until he ended up at home. He remembers opening his father's liquor cabinet and stealing one of the bottle of whiskey he kept there.

He remembers the feeling of the whiskey burning as it went down his throat, but nothing was worse than the pain he felt in his heart.

_I pulled away to face the pain._    
 _I close my eyes and drift away._    
 _Over the fear that I will never find_    
 _A way to heal my soul._    
 _And I will wander 'til the end of time_    
 _Torn away from you._    


**Stiles poured through all the spell books that Deaton gave him, and the ones he found on the internet, searching for any memory spell that didn't end with the caster dead or forgetting everything except the memories they didn't want.**

**He searched for hours, for days, until finally he found one.**

**Closing his** **eyes** **,** **he smiled to himself, happy that he wouldn't have to face the** **pain that came with seeing, or hearing about the Alpha. Soon his heart and soul would heal.**

**Soon he would be free from the memory of Derek Hale and everything that came with him.**

_My heart is broken_    
 _Sweet sleep, my dark angel_    
 _Deliver us from sorrow's hold_    
 _(Over my heart)_

Derek remembers the day Stiles found him in bed with Braeden. He remembers it just as vividly as he does his family's death.

He remembers feeling the confusion, the sadness and the rage that came over the human when he opened the door and found him pounding into the mercenary. He forced himself to shut those feeling out and ignore the anguished cry and the sudden disappearance of the teen. His wolf, on the other hand, howled and scratched at the surface, trying it's best to force him to get up and go after him, after his mate. 

But he refused and forced the wolf down, knowing that breaking Stile's heart would be better for him in the long run.

Of course, he wasn't counting on the frantic phone call from Scott saying that Stiles was magic and was going to use said magic to take down the Dread Doctors all on his own.

That was when he decided that he couldn't stay away from his mate, and had to go back and somehow try to fix what he broke before Stiles did anything stupid.

He remembers running through the forest, following the sounds of fighting, the sounds of his friends screaming at Stiles to stop. He remembers skidding to a halt as he watched the Dread Doctors disintegrate right before his eyes and seeing the teenager fall. He remembers catching Stiles and cradling him, watching as the life dimmed from his eyes until he was gone.

He remembers it all, and remember that it was all his fault.

But now Stiles was back, and Derek knew he had a second chance. He could fix his mistake! He would prove to Stiles that he loved him and he was an asshole for what he did and that he would never do it again and that Stiles was the only one for him. He would tell him that he was his mate and that no one else would ever be good enough for him.

He would fix this. He just had to find Stiles.

_I can't go on living this way_    
 _But I can't go back the way I came_    
 _Chained to this fear that I will never find_    
 _A way to heal my soul_    
 _And I will wander 'til the end of time_    
 _Half alive without you_

**Stiles sat in Scotts living room, all the** **necessary** **ingredients for the memory spell laid out on the floor in front of him. Scott sat to the right of him, in an armchair,** **his hands** **frantically running through his hair.**

**"Stiles, buddy, are you one hundred percent** **sure** **about this? I mean, you're a bad ass mage and all, but even Deaton said this is such an advanced spell that he's never known anyone that could cast is perfectly." He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and chewed on it as he watched his best friend begin the spell, cutting up the ingredients and muttering words in a language he didn’t understand.**

**"I have to, Scotty." Long, deft fingers cut into the** **ingredients** **and placed them into the bowl in front of him, a sad smile playing on his lips. "I cannot go on if I have to remember what Derek did to me. My heart cannot handle it. I can barely handle it right now, and the only thing keeping me from making a stupid mistake is knowing that I might have a way to forget." He shrugged his shoulders before stealing a glance at Scott.**

**". . .But this is a stupid mistake, Stiles. For someone so smart, even you should see how stupid this is. You have no idea what the repercussions could be from a spell like this. Even though there are no known cases of people dying, what's to make me believe that it couldn't happen to you? And what makes you think that you'll only remove the memories associated with Derek? You do realize a lot of out pack is associated with him, right? You could forget about Cora. About Erica and Boyd. And even your golden child,** **Isaac** **! Is that what you really want?" Scott was getting desperate, trying his best to use everything against Stiles to get him to stop.**

**"I don't have a choice, Scott! I refused to continue living like this. Having to see him makes me so sick and angry that I'm scared my magic is going to go out of control and** **hur** **t** **someone. I cannot take that risk. I refuse to take that risk. And this is the only logical way of me being able to go on. I'm sorry, Scott but my mind is made up.** **So,** **either stay there and support me or leave."**

**The Alpha's shoulders sagged but he reached out to squeeze the teen's shoulder. "** **Of course** **I support you, Stiles. I always will. But I just want to make sure that you are absolutely sure about this."**

**The human nodded, sending his friend one more smile before turning back and continuing** **the spell. "I'm sure."**    
   
 **A sigh passed Scotts lips as he squeezed his shoulder once more and leaned back in the chair. "Okay, then."**

**Stiles took a steadying breath and** **continued the spell, only hesitating when he reached the end of the spell. But he shook his head, muttered the last of the words and threw the powder into the bowl, coughing as the smoke rose from the bowl and surrounded him before fading away.**

_My heart is broken_    
 _Sweet sleep, my dark angel_    
 _Deliver us_

**Derek didn't waste** **any time** **when he caught the scent of Stiles. He ran as fast as he could, his wolf whining at him to go faster, wanting to be close to his mate.**

**Reaching Scotts** **house,** **he ran up the porch and busted through the door and right into the living room, coming to a halt when he saw Stiles sitting on the floor and looking at him in confusion, Scotts face one of sadness.**

**He took in the scene around him; the ingredients, the spell book, all of it. Scooping up the book, ignoring the** **squawk** **that left Stiles mouth and batting his hands away, he read the spell. His heart froze in his chest as his eyes scanned the words on the book. His legs gave out;** **the** **werewolf stumbling back, Scott jumping up to steady him as he let the book** **fal** **l from** **his hands onto the floor, the thud reverberating through his body.**

**"Stiles. . .what did you do?"**

_Change - open your eyes to the light_    
 _I denied it all so long, oh so long_    
 _Say goodbye, goodbye_

**The whiskey eyed teen's eyebrows creased in confusion, his head tilting to the side as he looked at Derek, clearly not recognizing him.**

**"I'm sorry, but, do I know you?"**

_My heart is broken_    
 _Release me, I can't hold on_    
 _Deliver us_    
 _My heart is broken_    
 _Sweet sleep, my dark angel_    
 _Deliver us_    
 _My heart is broken_    
 _Sweet sleep, my dark angel_    
 _Deliver us from sorrow's hold_

**Author's Note:**

> Woo, another part done. I think I'm getting worse and worse at writing as I go on, but the more music I listen to, the more inspiration I have to write. ^^; I hope you enjoyed this installment, and don't worry, the next part should (hopefully) see Derek finally explaining to Stiles why he did what he did even if Stiles has no idea who he is.


End file.
